Monday, May 24, 2010

Polls Mean Nothing!!! The Leader is Still Great!

While at the Voorhees Municipal Library working this morning, I took my mandatory OSHA 15-minute break and logged on to one of the public computers over by the magazine collections. I stumbled on the "Drudge Report" website (don't judge me! I was trying to go to Daily Kos, but I didn't think someone before me would go to that seditionist muckracker's page and erase my DK bookmark). I clicked on the headline, "Rasmussen: Obama Approval Drops to 44%..." What a mistake that turned out to be.

Normally, I'm not one to trust polls--the majority of Americans are slow, uneducated folk from places like Missouri and Colorado and have no idea what's good and what's not. I put my trust in our elected leaders and their appointed surrogates to make sure that I'm taxed at the right amount and my healthcare is provided to me for free (hooray healthcare reform!). So I shouldn't have been surprised to see that 43% of "Americans" strongly disapprove of the job our great Leader is doing. I call them "Americans" loosely--no true American would dare oppose what our Leader is doing, because He's only trying to right the wrongs of the evil Bush administration (in fact, I blame the oil spill in the Gulf on Bush's pro-offshore drilling policies!).

Unfortunately, those few, radical minds are the people who advocate violence and war against the rest of the world and, with elections coming up in November, they stand a real chance of promoting their terroristic, anti-global neighborhood, anti-true American agenda even further.

We must put a stop to this--our Leader knows what's best for all of us, if only we'll give him a chance. Rome wasn't built in a day, and 8 years of backward-thinking warmongering and economy-ruining can't be undone in 18 months!

Sunday, February 28, 2010


This is an album cover by someone who calls himself "Jello Biafra". What a wierdo name. Teenagers have no respect for adults and this wierdo proves it. I remember when I was young I grew a mustache, it upset my mom, who thought I might be trying to be tough. I shaved it off so she wouldn't think I was getting into knife fights.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Blog--like The Leader--is Arisen!

Well, my fellow Leader disciples and Star Trek: TNG fans, great news--The Leader blog is back! Times have been a little tough since we volunteered for The Leader's glorious campaign last fall (who knew going door-to-door in Wyoming could be so cold and difficult! They didn't even have a Starbucks!); I lost my part-time job at the library due to budget cuts/kickbacks (it is Philadelphia, after all!), all three of my cats passed away from feline leukemia (again, why don't we have universal healthcare for pets???) and I was in an accident (my bike was run over during a hit-and-run. No doubt a McCain supporter!) that left me with a broken femur (which made it hard to stand at the Lincoln Memorial during The Leader's Coronation Inauguration, but I did it!). To top it off, the adjustable rate on the mortgage on the ol' homestead out in Voorhees went up, so my monthly payment doubled. Woe is me!

It's not all bad, though--after all, The Leader is now our official Guider-in-Chief! The stimulus package he wrote has me hopeful that happy days will soon be here again! I was relieved to find out that The Leader didn't forget me from our summer handshake meeting--he wrote into his "Save America" stimulus bill a part that will bring my mortgage back down to where it should be, and the library says that, with the stimulus bill, the city can now hire me back to hand out contraceptives to the homeless!

As I've always said, when times are tough--look to The Leader. He will carry us back to prosperity and make us all rich! All hail The Leader!

Thursday, April 3, 2008

The Leader Looks Up to Someone, and It's Not Norman Lear!

I had the opportunity to listen to The Leader (I will no longer mention His Holy name, as it is too revered for a common peon like myself to invoke) on a Philadelphia radio station that caters to primarily white, middle-aged males (The Leader is appealing to those lost souls) the other day. What he said shocked me--The Leader admitted to wanting to be like some gentleman named "Doctor J"!

"I think any kid growing up, if you got a chance to throw down the ball from the free throw line, that's better than just about anything."

Well, I did some research while working at the library today (thanks, Wikipedia--you've never led me wrong yet!) and found out that "Doctor J" isn't an actual doctor, but a gentleman by the name of Julius Erving. It seems Mr. Erving was a basketball player of some note back in the 1980's (that's why I didn't notice him--I was always busy with my Commodore 64 playing "Voodoo Castle" with my A/V Club friends) who could place the basketball in the hoop without using the underhand shot method that I prefer.

While I admit that I was hoping The Leader was referring to John Brown, the peaceable, early-day Dr. Martin Luther King of the abolitionist movement back in the 19th century, I now admire "Doctor J" after reading about him--he's a great athlete, moral leader and true gentleman who is worthy of being a friend to our great Leader.

However, I'm sure that, instead of The Leader looking up to Doctor "J", it's Doctor "J" who looks up to, and strives to be like, The Leader. I love you, magnificent Leader!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The Leader is on Vacation This Week

Therefore, no news will occur until his glorious return.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Leader Will Create a More Perfect Union--Hooray!

The Leader spoke to some very lucky folks today in Philadelphia--unfortunately, I was not one of them, as I had to tend the counter at the library today (boo!). The Leader spoke, in his own words, of "forming a more perfect union." The sheer hope that that singular statement inspires in me is almost too much to bear!

The Leader recognized that our white, slaveowning, money-grabbing founding fathers (none of whom were native Americans like the Indians!) were imperfect and created a Constitution for the benefit of rich white men only;

"...a Constitution that promised its people liberty, and justice, and a union that could be and should be perfected over time. And yet words on a parchment would not be enough to deliver slaves from bondage, or provide men and women of every color and creed their full rights and obligations as citizens of the United States. What would be needed were Americans in successive generations who were willing to do their part – through protests and struggle, on the streets and in the courts, through a civil war and civil disobedience and always at great risk - to narrow that gap between the promise of our ideals and the reality of their time."

The Leader is right--we need a Civil War to right the wrongs of our ancestors. A bloodless, peacable civil war. I love the Leader!